What an incredible day.
I’ve got this on camera. I’ve got proof. I witnessed some amazing talent. Today was the very first time I witness my script come to life, and it was so refreshing. The scenes are emotional, psychologically challenging and extremely intense. While I was watching the first few actors run the scene, I couldn’t believe it was happening.
Casting has it’s ups and downs. It’s great to finally see the words live but it’s not fun having the challenge to director actors who simply aren’t right for the part. But everyone gets a fair chance and everyone deserves proper direction to help them get to an end goal.
We saw two people today dominating our script. After they left, my jaw dropped; I was beyond amazed. I looked at my producer and cinematographer and their expressions were the same. My producer had to smoke a cigarette. There was a line in the film, “Damn, it’s hot in here” as it’s set in the summer. It was maybe 30 degrees outside and our room was hot with tension. I loved every second of it.
Today was one of those days when I can fully confirm I am doing the right thing with my life. This is what I want to be doing constantly and I’m starting to feel like I can actually make this all happen. Every day is a step forward, and every day I have to keep trucking along. Every day I work harder, the more days like today that I feel confident that I am going to fucking make some great movies.
What an INCREDIBLE year it’s been. And here’s my annual traditional 2011 Highlights & Awards note. Now fully published on Tumblr/Twitter/My website because social media has taken over the world! Cheers to a fabulous 12 months prior and to many months ahead. Happy Holidays! DRINKING BUDDY OF THE YEAR Kieran Cato, the craziest Aussie with the most amazing stories and drunk phone calls and fun times! I will never forget the time you called me drunk at a bar and tried to get me to come over because you talked to the bartender about me. And I think this was at maybe 6pm. Who can forget Friday night Beer O’Clock! Runner up goes to Steve Jaggi who paid for a lot of delicious wine and oysters, which didn’t sit too well with my stomach, if we all remember… =) LIFETIME SERVICE AWARD (Longest Friend): Allison Irvin. It has been a ridiculous year and with both our ups and downs, we’ve remained to be close. I love our psychic text messages and our stupid but awesome foursquare check-ins and I love that no matter how long we see each other or where we are in the world, we’ve always remain to be there for one another. Let’s do our best to do more wine and cheese and girls nights in 2012!! NEWCOMER AWARD - COOLEST NEWEST FRIEND Christine Lockerby. After the dinner parties and the attempt at getting skinny in January, I am so so happy to call you my real friend. Thank you so much for being there for me when I would get surprising and unexpected news on my phone and thank you so much for letting me be okay with eating some ice cream every once in awhile. Looking forward to more Teen Mom while burning calories! Adam Bustin- I miss you like crazy and I wish you were in my life every day. Sydney wouldn’t have been the same without you. I wouldn’t have made it without you. Thank you for the 5AM pick ups and loud rolling echos but most importantly your effortless friendship even while we’re worlds apart. HIGH POINT OF THE YEAR: This is totally not my usual fashion, but my HIGH point of the year was the 2nd to last night of Bonnaroo when Emily and I had an amazing time waiting in line for the glowing ferris wheel and continued to blaze waiting for Girl Talk and then appropriately and so perfectly dancing until the hours of the morning. One of the best experiences of my life. LOW POINT OF THE YEAR: The weekend where we had a end of summer Hurricane storm in NYC. I spent too much money on junk food that I was supposed to buy, escaped to a Safe Zone (and dreadfully imagining my entire apartment was really going to be washed away and all of my books will be destroyed) Although it was happily spent with Jill (and my favorite NBC meteorologist) in my mind I wish it was different. BEST HOLIDAY: Mardi Gras. It’s not really a holiday, but definitely a celebration! Will never forget marching the Sydney Mardi Gras parade with the Roller Derby Girls and feeling independent and proud to be who I am. And yes, painting on myself and the dazzling glitter all over my body was pretty great. YOUR SONG FOR 2010 Kings of Leon “The Face” Somehow this song captured the majority of my year. I found this song while I was in Sydney, pretending that I was a super hot surfer chick (but trying my best to be able to stand up on that board) The song repeats “Ride out the wave” which is now represented with my new ink on my ankle. The Temper Trap “Soldier On” the best driving song, the best cigarette on the fire escape song, and the best inspiration song to just move forward and tell yourself that it’s all going to be okay. MOVIE FOR 2010 Blue Valentine. One of the most powerful films that I’ve seen in awhile that I think about almost every single day. And… Ryan Gosling and a ukulele is probably the hottest thing. Runner up goes to Drive, specifically the elevator scene. WHO DID YOU SPEND VALENTINE’S WITH: The Cast & Crew of Short Beach! BEST RELATIONSHIP Me and my apartment. It has been the safest haven and I’ve become so comfortable in this space, even though I’m not really here. When I am back in the now painted colors of my apartment, I’m relaxed and not anxious of the “next” I have memories that I wish I don’t remember, but memories that I’ve become to appreciate so much. Yes, I am really lame on this one, but I think my apartment has been the one consistent thing of my entire life this year. And although my friends have been absolutely a huge lifeline, my HOME is truly something I will never take advantage of. Anne Takahashi- although we rarely get the opportunity to spend time, each one of our dinners, or lunches, screenings or museum days are so much fun and always insightful. What an adventure that night in Astoria! One of the best nights of my summer by far =) WHAT WERE YOU FOR HALLOWEEN Day 1 of Light Years was on Halloween night, so in my absolute professional manner, I did not dress up, but I did wear that old pirate hat from last year. First impressions to cast and crew were positive I believe =) RESTAURANT OF THE YEAR Cruisin’ Diner in the middle of nowhere Newberg, Oregon and/or past Tigard/Backyard of Beaverton. After a much needed night drive, Christine and I found a this lit up diner along a four-way stop. I parked the car, smoked a cigarette and we proceeded to have delicious burgers, milk shakes and onion rings. “This is the best worst decision ever.” Runner up: Gus’s Fried Chicken, Memphis TN. Proud to have shared a 20 piece family bucket with two macho long island boys. Tom’s in Prospect Park because sometimes you just need to order french toast and sausage and coffee and a milkshake and walk to Manhattan. BOOK OF THE YEAR Downtown Oil by Chuck Klosterman. It took forever for me to finish but it’s an amazing read with some especially interesting small-town insight. After growing up in the suburbs and moving to the biggest city in the world, the charming and dysfunctional small-town vibe is what I find the most valuable. Looking forward to reading more chapters of BJs future novel!! BEST DECISION MADE THIS YEAR Writing on Christine Luby’s facebook wall on February 1st which led me to getting hired to fly across the world in 72 hours and land in Sydney, Australia for 2 months!. NBD. Runner up: Paying the extra $150 to change my flight back to NYC from LA so I can spend more time with Alexis and go to Universal Studios with Jessie and Matt. Greatest layover ever. BEST PLANS FOR NEXT YEAR I have a wedding in May and I know it’s gonna be a helluva good time. I want Nick and I to finish Warhol Superstar and share it with the rest of the world. I’d like to have everyone start singing the songs that we wrote, and talk about the moments that we’ve created. But other than that, I don’t really plan ahead. Doesn’t really work out that way. DUMBEST IDEA WHEN DRUNK Again, delicious wine and oysters do not mix. I was actually a really good drunk this year so nothing particular stands out. I peer pressured Christine to stay out one night (which I later was thanked for) I keep taking tequila shots that Paul Frazier keeps buying which makes me ridiculous sick the next morning. Oh and McDonalds walking drive-thru. Double cheeseburger epic fail. TV SHOW OF THE YEAR How I Met Your Mother. It’s on prime time on 3 different channels and I’ve watched them on Netflix. It’s our generation’s Friends and every episode pretty much sums up some part of my own life. Runner up: Friday Night Lights. Oh how I miss the boys on the field and coach’s inspirational pep talks. MOST LOYAL FRIEND Christine, Kate, Liz and Manda- my ladies back in Oregon. I am so happy to be back in your lives beyond the world of facebook and internet-y. Seeing your guys’ faces so much this year has reminded me how true we are to one another and how we’ll always be apart of each others lives no matter what! Oh my GOD the cliches but I love it! BIGGEST CHANGE OF THE YEAR I no longer have prime # in my life. And somehow, it has become surprisingly difficult to get over. I’ve just learned to trust my feelings and not hide them no matter how delicate the situation is. There may be a solution for most type of heart cramps, but sometimes, they just kind of suck. C’est la vie! BIGGEST DOUCHE BAG OF THE YEAR AWARD I’ve been treated pretty well this year so I was luckily not hanging out with douche bags. I wish “Steve Arrow Bar” all the best as I’ve ignored his endless text messages and don’t really feel too bad about them. NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION - Buy a new effin’ swim suit and look bomb dot com - Don’t be afraid to confront who or what you truly want - Build shelves in the apartment - Pride up and show off what I have the ability to do with my art form (self PR like whoa) ADDITIONAL HIGHLIGHTS OF THE YEAR - The night before I left Aussie was a great reminder that I have amazing friends who support me - Wine drinking and drunk frisbee at Prospect Park - Sleepover with Jenn and Jo where we reminisced with Britney - Homecoming with Tracy - Lasting through a simple 3 day juice cleanse without cheating - Breakfast at Tiffanys at BK Bridge Park w/Jenna. Beautiful weather, beautiful view, beautiful Jenna and beautiful Audrey
A bit of a preview of the new website!
More details to come.
I’m producing a super quirky and beautifully written independent feature film set in Fort Green, Brooklyn. I’m working with the team at Cavazos Film with director Lonely Christopher. I met with everyone today and I’m thrilled to be apart of it all!
Check out the link here: http://www.momthefilm.com
The demo trailer is just a taste of what our film will be like!
DJ Earworm’s 2010 Yearly Mashup “Don’t Stop the Pop”
I personally dig last year’s better, although he gets super tricky in this one. Skills.
Yesterday, I shot a short film that I wrote the previous Sunday. I named it Kiss + Tell, my prompt from the film collective that I’m apart of with Courtney and Maddie and other brilliant minds. It was a cigarette inspired idea months ago when it was still warm enough to really enjoy a break out on the fire escape. It’s refreshing to be able to do it; to come out with a product in a short amount of time for the sake of getting it done and for the sake of the craft. And it meant something.
Today, I watched Love and Other Drugs, followed by a wonderful cappucino from Motek w/Jessie, followed by a surprise visit from Eric Rydin. The three of us dug deep into the conflicts of relationships and when it’s time to let go. I then proceeded to a end of the year dinner party with my wonderful Modern Vintage crew.
Tonight I was in a beautiful, expensive studio with all of our artists in one room, mingling and chatting about their shitty day jobs and their aspirations with us. These guys trust us so much in putting their music out there; their trust is what drives what we do and all of us are so dedicated to it. We listened to amazing unknown bands that some of our creatives worked with at different studios. We talked about upcoming music and our past favorites, all while listening to these songs on one of the most advanced stereo systems in the world.
This weekend, I was able to be Create and love my creations.
Tomorrow, I’ll continue to polish all of these projects together and see what comes of it.
This is the rest of my life. How fucking lucky am I?
I had an inspired Friday night. After an unexpected emergency ice cream session with Jessie, we resulted to cigarettes and wine. While on the back porch of her St. Marks apartment we smoked, drank and dived into our usuals: love, happiness, the realistic future vs the hopeful future. And we came up with our usual results: in order to protect ourselves as sappy romantics we have to gear up our hard shells for the unexpected. Shit happens and we can’t let them effect us like it has in the past.
We moved our whimsical chatter inside where we consumed an obnoxious amount of Honey Dijon kettle chips and cheese and crackers. It was delicious, classy and perfect “settling on life” type of food. To our merry surprise, Matt came home from his shoot in Connecticut and we all caught up. A few minutes later, Jessie’s old friend, Kendall, came into the door.
Kendall enlightened me into this astrological world that I only heard whispers about. I told her my birthday and she immediately responded, “You’ve had a tough summer, didn’t you?” She was able to pinpoint a small range of dates that were devastating for me, and this was absolutely astonishing. My so-called tragic moments were in the stars.
She went around the room and read our star charts. I was wide-eyed, jaw dropped and continuously surprised by the accurate personality portrays she was able to pull from Matt and Jessie. I was charmed when she told me I was really an introvert, a trait that I thought I had gotten over in these years of busy city life. She told me that Jessie and I match very well with our opposing signs. She told me my lucky day next year will be June 4th and that I should not spend a lot of money next year even though I will have a very successful and career focused year.
She also told me that I had Jupiter in the 10th House, a sign of fame and recognition in your social, public image. I take this cautiously, but deep down inside, I am thrilled, as it coincides with my ultimate goal of making films that inspire and share with the world.
I’ve always had a spiritual side; not religious, but spiritual and always thinking that there is some sort of divinity that helps people in a certain path. It was just last week when I was asked the question of my religion. Having some kind of omni-presence is assuring. I recently had a conversation about death with a semi-Catholic raised charming writer who needed proof to believe in a Heaven. “If I was a true Catholic, I would be going to Hell.” he said, while we were merrily drinking at an Irish bar in midtown. He needed something to tell him that there is some other world, the greener side, he refused to believe that there was just simply nothing in the after life.
I’m curious if there’s a type of after-life in the Stars. What does Astrology say about death? Do we become a fortune teller of sorts and become a star that help guide others? Or is there an everlasting soul world that we transform to? Or should we just accept that there is nothing after life? “It would just be like sleeping,” I told my unconvinced date. “That’s terrible.” he responded.
Even with all this serious life talks lately, it’s very assuring that there is something that lets me know that a path has indeed been created for me. I like this idea, and I can continue this Divine drive that I have inside me. I’m glamorizing this whole thing a bit, I’m sure. It’s just much more fun to think that massive twinkling balls of atmospheric gas has more power than an abstract God.